walk.run.FLY___________ for i am eVil today.

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Anger Management Help

I don't really know what's gotten into me. I know my mood get affected a lot at home. It's like when I'm outside I'm usually cheerful unless I'm in pain (like physical pain). And I'm not easily affected by the mood around me. I take real pride in that.

But at home it's not so easy. When one nags throughout her waking hours, one who listens gets very frustrated. Mother just have to say something bad whenever she opens her mouth. And she has to open her mouth at least half the time she's awake and whenever there's someone there for her to nag at or complain to.

I can't take this. It doesn't help that I have really sharp ears. Probably the sharpest pair in the house. The choice of words, the tone, the loudness, the frequency. When all that are at their worst combination, all the time, I don't think anyone else can bear it.

And what is this about my money, my work and my boyfriend. Why must she bring this up at every talk and argument not relating at all to these 3. I don't get stress at work. And if I do, all stresses are left behind at work so I never bring them home. I can't even bring them home, I mean, it's not like I can bring work home. And I have no problem with the people I meet at work. So no relationship stress to bring home as well.

When I list out all my monthly expenses and calculate ahead how much I can save every month, this is what is called budget planning. How can anyone call this being stingy. Just what the hell does she want me to help pay that I didn't. What was it that I didn't pay enough as compared to my sister. In fact, I paid more. And she has to buy me less expensive stuffs than my sister cause I don't make her pay. Even if I wanted it, I always say I don't need it and I would buy it on my own some other time.

My boyfriend brings me both happiness and unhappiness. But of course, it's much more happiness than unhappiness or else I would be a masochist to still stay with him. One thing is for sure though. My boyfriend gives me warmth and comfort when home is cold and unbearable because of her. Whereas when my boyfriend gives me stress, I never have to complain to her. Because we will solve it between the two of us. And my behaviour at home is not affected at all by the stress and unhappiness I get from the boyfriend. Whenever I am visibly upset at home, it is only due to one cause and that will be stress from home itself, and mostly from the mother. I'm the type to put all my soul into what I'm doing wherever I am. I don't bring mood from one place to another. It's not fair like that right.

I am so stressed up with my money matter because she wants more from me. Doesn't she understand that. All my stresses are from her. Not only is she blind enough, or deluded enough, to not see that, she has to blame it on other stuffs. How can she just accused thoughtlessly that I am in this state of bad temper cause of boyfriend and work. Worse, those stuffs are the only things that keep me sane - boyfriend, work and money. How can she not get on my nerve. She calls me bad temper? The fact that I can bear it out till this day has made me more than a mere mortal. To be unaffected by it, that would make me either dead or a saint - who is dead too by the way.

I so want to be away. To live by myself. Where is that overseas job? Where is the money to cover all necessary expenses. Oh, this world is cruel.

--i'll say what i want--

WALKING.

to think

RUNNING.

to chase

FLYING.

to catch

just what the heck do i want

CREDITS.

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